What is it about a married man who is so irresistible?
There must be something because so many women fall for it. Just this week I met two women who have slipped into the trap of fatal attraction to a married man. And 'dangerous territory and I would not recommend anyone to go there. I speak from experience of my life invested in a relationship with a married man Iam not write about this lesson or talk, or judge of my soapboxon what I know is not so. My intention is to expose the underhanded tactics, even if unintentionally, the men and women of the naivety that allows these relationships to flourish.
What is it about women that make them susceptible to the charm and attraction of a man is not available?
The man is very interesting not available for women who do not want to be controlled by a man. He can offer sporadic attention, gender, usually at regular intervals, at any rate even if the board isdo not ask and gifts. There is no need to live with him, that is, no snoring, pick up after him, and go as you please comeand usually free. The disadvantages are limited spontaneity, lack of availability on weekends and public holidays and the number of priorities for anyone.
This does not mean that men do not fall for married women. I am
that to support the statistics show that almost as many single men fall for married women, but the dynamics between THEMIS verydifferent from that of the single woman and her husband. Of course I have more experience with the married man syndrome.
Women are generally used to get second.
What I mean is that women who choose to be less satisfied
what they want. Ok, I expect outrage from most of you who are
Read this, but hear me out, please. In this country people have the power. Look at how many women presidents have? Like many in the Senate, Congress, CEOFortune 500 companies? How many women make as much money as men? Consider the teaching and nursing, two professions are dominated by women, the percentage of men are responsible for the profession and what percentage ofthose? How many men choose to stay at home while their wives are thchildren work and to support the family? You get the idea. Sure, there are many more women in leadership positions in medicine, law, economics, real estate, finance, business than ever, but ifYou go to be honest with yourself, it's still a man's world. That's fine.
We can use the fact that men run the world to live, because women run the report.
Women who really are responsible for the relationship, even though I do not know. You just need to raise the bar a little 'what YouExpect from your relationship. What I mean, women are not used to asking the regulation. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine works for a large company, she uses her computerand pay for their own Internet access, although the majority of computer use for their activities. Men at the helm has to reimburse the cost of their computers with modem access made and was rejected. Your first instinct was to agree, until we realized: How many men who pay for the computer to work, your computer and even less for their Internet access? People expect, with the necessary tools to do their jobs made available to provide womenaccept their instruments, and if they refused a refund. Where does this desire to be used is? I think that when women began entering the workplace emerged. The women were not welcomed with open arms the first time in the world of work. To be accepted, they worked twice as hard, now no longer tolerate abuse in many ways that a man would never, and were eager to please, the approval and acceptance of more than react. (In fact, women were accepted inat work during the Second World War, but only because men were not available. When the man returned, women were expected to return home where they belonged.)
A large part of the acceptance of women as second-class treatment is their fault, because you will not even ask different.
Okay, I'm a little 'with the theme of married men, but let me
follow up the connection. We are looking for a woman. The
Majority of women work these days, are also the primary
Child care providers and most of them most of the housework and laundry and cooking and shopping as well. They are also expected by their husbands, sexy and ready for a quickie to drop his pants. Women do it all, why put those same standards. You still have to expect to do more and would have been better, because they are women. So where does a woman to cut? Usually it's of attention to basic needs of her husband. A man needs sex and most marriedThe men will tell you that the amount of sex they get cleared after the marriage and especially children. In addition, decreases the amount of time that a woman should devote to care, acceptance, approval and attention of her husband in proportion to the addition of children, job responsibilities and a bigger house.
Brings us to the fate of her husband.
Who is the married man? Above all, he is a man. Men are results oriented. Men have a lot ofTestosterone. They are not good for deciphering what women want to be used primarily to conduct their own wives.The married man's life. It came and went as he pleased, he has seen or played baseball whenever he wanted. She lived her life. He had a wife and withhim hewanted if he would pay all their attention on him. Now you marriedwith some boys, a mortgage, a job he has, because it pays themost, not because he loves so much and a woman who used it justiceNow the only time that its between him, the children share the house and usually her job. There was a TV commercial, not too long ago, a man concerned about his days as a tough single and sexy shows in those days, with a baby in a stroller. He is talking to his son and the supermarket and a woman to her friend who comments he does not even know what it is now more attractive, like a stallion to play.
Men are pretty unconsciouswhat makes them interesting.
According to the majority of women is not his looks that make them
is attractive, is who they are and how you produce in the world. So the married man goes to work and back home and back to work the next day. At work there's this woman. She is single, attractive, intelligent, capable, speaks his language andsomeone, time must pay attention to him. It begins as an innocent flirtation. What is going through his mind is something like "Let's see if Iyet! "So begins flirting just to see what happens. No wonder, responds to flirt flirting back.
This is the beginning of the story.
In his mind he is flattered, it's fun and exciting and one
little 'cheeky. What could be more harmless? They married.I 'm
Sure. I can only have a little 'fun with this. So it continues.He
think you can only experience a little '. Let's see how it can be fascinating and creative. Let's see if I can get thisWoman to fall in love with me. In his mind there is no fraud. He has done nothing wrong. In the beginning, he says, the wife of this woman. He told her how smart he is, or was an achievement usuallywhat him out first. Wives usually miss the first clues. The thought of the effects of its harmless flirting onthe single woman does not even have in his conscience. So the harmless flirtation continues. It makes the married man is a good feeling. He is happy toHouse and everything seems in order. He told the woman his wife does not understand, she has no time for him, or is simply cruel to him and the other woman is his confidant and begins to believe that he really has no choice in the matter. He needs it because his wife is so ... anything.
Now he has a wife and family, and a woman on the side.
Recognizing that this process can take several years and several
different women before anything really happenshow
Affair. After several years of living a life separate from his wife while living under one roof, is a married man, ready for a real bargain. The reality is that a deal occurs if there is any emotional or physical affair or even a cyber-relationship. No matter which way you go, what happens, something takes away from the marital relationship.
What is true of the woman who sleeps with a married man, who are looking for attention and affection.
Moreprobably not looking for a married man with whom he plotted to have a relationship. There are few female predators out there that do just that, but most things begin
naive. It 'probably previously violated a
Report. You may or may not know that the man is married. Which comes first, acknowledges that he is attentive to her. You can only listen. It can only provide a snapshot of a meeting where you can see eyes and a connection is established.They can work together on a project and each of them can distinguishthemselves somehow. What happens next is probably chemical. What happens after that varies, but usually follows this pattern.
When the woman discovers that he is married, she made clear that no relationship with married men.
This is the signal to go for the man in the conquest mode.
He will continue perhaps for years, because he likes hunting. Onecontinue to refuse his advances, provided that he or she begins cantolerate until a time weak and vulnerable. If you have a good relationship in her life, it can Aresh survive, but if single or married and unhappy is available, you will eventually succumb. Why? Because man is so charming, wonderful institutions of higher education, is a knight in shining armor, he is a hero, is this wonderful man dedicated to family is wonderful with his children and attentive to his wife. So the womanwonders what is he doing?
It is not yet over, and she says to say no, the more
get aggressive and charming and attentive. This is the final challenge to win men, a woman who is to say no, even though he knows she is actually attracted to him.
A married man is harder than any man available for a job
Woman falls in love with him.
He is charming, affectionate, attentive and wonderful
Women can imagine that a man can be. SoWhat happens next is this woman, who then gives up his feelings for this man, asks him to leave his wife for her. The answer from him almost inevitably one of the two, but I'm married and I will never leave my wife or yes, I will give my left his wife, but not yet (not ready, my children are too small, I can 't afford it again, my mother does not approve, etc.) First, the woman reacts with anger. "If you love your wife, what have you done to me?" Here's the kicker that hooks at the endthe woman he is engaged to his wife and the woman buys in its commitment to honor his wife and said that if I could just one man who loves me so much.
It 'at this point in their relationship, the woman that occur the last act of settlement.
Or will it end and go to keep her broken heart,
asking how he could so beautiful and so have the heel atthe same time, otherwise you forbeing pursue the matter and put the other woman in his life. OWay in which the woman is damaged. The man returns to his wife, who was either unaware of the romantic drama or who also chooses to pay by living in denial of her infidelity. Then, life goes on.
The other woman is playing an important role in maintaining the marriage of this man.
It makes it bearable for him to remain in an intolerable
Situation. Makes it possible for him to stay in a marriage
which is not satisfied. This can vary from marriage
Even bored contempt, but a man will leave his marriage
until the wife had fired, consciously or
unconsciously. Makes it possible to deny that something is missing in his relationship with his wife. Therefore, the woman wins, if you can call it winning to stay ina relationship with a cheating husband.
The purpose of this discussion at all about the fact that women and men cheating settle, because stress. So women, if youwant your husband to be faithful, be careful and never less than what you want, no matter what the cost to be paid.
The essence of marriage is commitment. Why get married if you are not willing to commit to loving someone exclusively? The way I see it, should not be married to be together to get, because if they do not do it? I have been married for 23 years and strongly supports the concept of renewable marriage certificate, driver's license is renewed as tohow.The point is that is that at least 3 or 4 years people who were married to each otherwould a look at if you still want to carry her husband. If people are too honest about their feelings, would surely be a part of the divorce rate of 50%.
On a more serious note, but I really do not see any point in
married when he married someone with whom the sexual chemistry that youhave all the love that you trust each other, and thatrather than with each other to be the same way you feel about yourself. The feeling of total confidence and growing fast itneeds rare. It 'also good if you have similar values and goals in life. If and when you have someone to find all UNION conforms to the above, you probably did not imagine in someone bewith. The spiritual bond can be so strong andso value both from the realm of possibility to violate them.
It 'impossible ever to this kind of confidence whenA
Relationship with someone who was born cheating.
What happens to destroy the original link? And 'the woman'sjob offer your appetite for the pleasure and direction for therelationship. This does not absolve men from any responsibility because it is their duty to give their women the power and the result for her based on what they produce on demand. So, in a report, the woman must continue to work to raise the level of her husband and believes in him. Whatdoes that mean? He wants a bigger house, expensive cars, with more children? Not necessarily, although these may be part of the picture. What does it mean that the rules of his attention, even when life is busy increases. This means that the time for sex, even if you do not have the time. And to think that some of them stay with them even whenhe / she has something they are embarrassed or made vulnerable wrong.
In my marriage, I got it all wrong. I doubted hisProduction,
I thought I could do better than he lost, and my ability to
believe in him. When that happened, he let me and we made a downward spiral into a total lack of confidence in each other and
Willingness to be vulnerable. I chatted with less than what I asked and he has only produced what he believed he could produce. I did not know better.
It 'a fragile bond that must be protected and, as far as I can see what it is to protect the bond of love is aDonna has expressed his
Appetite that affects more than the man thinks he can produce and then even more important is that they passed by him and believe him until he produces them. The most important element in maintaining a loving relationship that works is that both parties must pay to each other and what happens in the report. Going to doubt or accept less than what they want is the beginning of the destruction of the delicate balance of man / womanReport. In this model, the relationship men and women are treated as separate entities with different needs. It is based on the use of sex as a metaphor of the relationship, as a symbol for men and women as producers as a receiver.
There are no victims.
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